Main stuff to get: A bag of navy beans, a bag of yellow rice, an onion, and a bell pepper.

I came up with this tasty bowl of combustible grub yesterday afternoon as I was watchin the Falcons gettin turned into creamed stew with sprinkles of twisted asstro turf on their behinds by the Tampa Bay Buccaneers. It wasn't lookin too good at half time so I headed on up to Publix for the materials on my usual 10 dollar budget. Half of that went for tawlet paper and cigars. The Navy beans were 99 cents, Yellow rice 49 cents, Bell pepper 79 cents and those are my kind of prices. The rest went into the Salvation Army guy's bucket. He was playin a spirited but muffled version of Dark Side of the Moon on his tarnished trumpet so I figured it was the least I could do to toss some coins in. I also think they're one of the best charities around besides myself. Now, to the recipe. Start the beans in a thing of boiling water. Half a bag of beans will do for a couple of people and make sure there ain't no rocks or bugs in em before you put em in the pan. After it's boiled a couple of minutes, pour the water off and fill it back up with fresh water. This does something but I'm not sure what. I think it soaks and cleans em good and prepares em for the upcoming fantastic voyage through your inner plumbing system without resulting in too much backblast. In the new pot of boilin water, put a strip of uncooked bacon in with the beans. It'll keep em from bean lonely and give em a little hearty flavor. Turn the burner down to low or simmer after they start boilin again. Try not to stir em around any more than necessary as the hulls will break and the whole thing will get mushy. Let em cook on low an hour or more till they're like you like em. Before they're finished, make the yellow rice in another pan following the instructions on the back. In a skillet, saute your diced onion and green pepper in some butter. Time it so they'll all come out about the same time, this night it was when the sports reporter was in the locker room asking the dejected Falcons what the hail happened. When you're ready to chow down, just mix the rice, beans, onions and green pepper up in a bowl, salt and pepper to taste, and if you want, and I do, add a few dashes of Louisiana hot sauce. Now just sit back and watch King of the Hill or whatever floats your boat. I think it's a pretty economical yet tasty meal. It's also good in the winter for those who can't afford electric blankets to stay warm at night. Just leave a little ventilation space. Now I gotta take a shire and go find a Christmas tree for 25 bucks or less. Wish me luck. I hope I can get one that still has the needles on it. After I get that done, I'll start a Christmas Carp Circle. It's that magic time of year again. Ho Ho Ho......and a bottle of rum....